I hope all is good in your world – and if it’s not, I pray it will be again soon <3
Today we continue with our discussion on those
in our lives – those issues we worry and stress over, continually wondering what we should do, what choice should we make, or if we should have done something differently than what we did– yowser! – those kinds of crazy things! Do you have some of those?? I bet you do…
Last post we Dissected and defined, and made a Plan of Action for those issues or decisions we can and should control in our lives, the issues on our YES! I Can Control list. Today we pick up where we left off and look at those things we determine we cannot and should not control in our lives.
Crazy Decisions – Part III (cont.)
b) Decide which things you cannot control and which you should not control.
After thoroughly defining your issue, if you figure out and decide there is nothing (realistically) that you can do to effect or change this problem, that’s ok –
some things truly are out of our grasp and control.
Write it down on your No! I Cannot Control list.
We cannot do and be all things to all people in all places at all times, right??
Nope, we can’t. (Actually – I think some people define that as a “God Complex” J)
And if it’s more of a question of “should” you, rather than “can” you say yes or no to a decision, consider this:
Some years ago, when I was thinking about stepping down from a ministry at my church, and I was truly agonizing over this decision, a dear lady gave me some very wise words. She said that as long as I stayed in that position, doing that job, then no one else would come forward to fill the gap. That if I was feeling like I needed personally to step down, then maybe it was time for another to step up and share their talents with that ministry, and to receive the blessing back from doing so. It might be just exactly what another person needs to become who they should be. And if I continued in that spot, even when I had doubts, then I might be taking a deep blessing away from someone else. She advised me to pray about the decision and follow what I felt was right. And I did. And I stepped back and let go. I relinquished my position and my control. And it was the right thing. The ministry took off under the perfect leadership of another freshly enthusiastic soul, who never would have come forward as long as I was doing the job. And my family benefitted greatly from the extra time I now had to spend with them.
Some things are better when we let go and allow someone else a turn. If there is something such as this in your life and after thinking, praying and considering all sides, you feel you should step back and let go, then do so.
If you need to follow up with someone, to inform them of your decision, or ask them if they would consider taking your spot, then add that to your to do list – including a do by date – and do it. Don’t leave it hanging indefinitely to continue fretting over. Then no more worrying! It’s no longer your responsibility. It’s done – Yay!!
And for those other cannot control decisions and issues you are fretting and stressing over, once you have decided your issue is truly, realistically outside of your control, accept it.
Write it on your No! I Cannot Control list.
Accept that you have hashed through it and found nothing that you can or should do to make a difference. If you need to refer this issue on to another for their handling, then write that on your to do list and do it. Then let it go. You have done your job. You have exercised your control over this issue and it’s done. Yay!!!
Now, move on to the next exciting issue needing your attention and exercise your (healthy) control over it.
And remember: don’t take back the worry from the previous one.
Now don’t you feel a little less stressed about that?
No - wait! You say? Just like that – forget it and move on? Really???
· How do you just accept and let go of something and not worry about it anymore, especially if it concerns something or someone very important or close to you?
· How do you find peace in letting go of something so important?
Thought you’d never ask…the most important part…
Next post we will delve into the most important part of the issue: finding sweet, wonderful peace in our decisions. It really is possible to have that kind of peace, in your mind, in your heart, in your life - knowing that you have made the right decision, and living without worrying over it any more. Take it from a total control freak who used to be obsessive compulsive and worried over everything. That is one diagnosis that I LET GO!
Until next time, peace, joy and love
And happy dissecting and defining!!
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?